Two Squishy Girls

back again!

i fell off the wagon again.  but i’m also getting back on the wagon again. 

i have a half marathon on august 1st that i haven’t been training for.  i haven’t worked out/ate healthily aka taken care of myself regularly in, oh, about three months.  which is actually alright because the last time i fell off the wagon, it took me technically a year, but in reality three years to get back onto the wagon.

so tumblr friends, what have i missed? =]

guess who’s back?

i’m back after a 5 week hiatus.  5 weeks of emotional eating and no exercise means that i’m back to 180 pounds.  scary, huh?

i can’t believe it’s may already!  it’s so silly because when i fall off the wagon like i did these past few weeks, i’m not happy, and i’m not living life.  however, when i’m exercising regularly and eating healthy, i have a lot more energy, i feel more confident in myself, i get shit done.  so why do i keep on falling into this cycle of exercising & eating healthy/not exercising & binging?  i guess i just have a hard time with that “moderation part.” 

i went for a 1.6 mile run today.  it’s been so long since i’ve ran, and i was afraid that my body would forget how to do it, but it didn’t.  it was definitely harder than the last time especially since i’m carrying a lot more weight around than a month ago. 

i also bought a bike today and went for an hour long bike ride.  it felt great. 

and i signed up for a half marathon a coupla weeks ago.  so i have to change my lifestyle habits if i want to drag my ass across that finish line.  missed you tumblrs.

mangochickens asked: I was going to ask the same thing kittystardust did! Just hop back on, baby steps. Even if you've gained 20 million pounds (which I'm sure you haven't), it's a good step to just start keeping track again.
and also I miss you! (in a non creepy internet tumblr crush kind of way)

thank you!  i haven’t gained 20 million pounds, but i have gained most of the weight that i’ve lost back =/  i’m back to around 180, which is disappointing.  but! i have a fitness assessment tomorrow with a new personal trainer that i got a groupon for.  i’m hoping that this will help jumpstart my journey.  thank you so much for the sweet message, i really appreciate yall =]

kittystardust asked: Where are yooooou? :(

hi!  thanks for the message =]  i’ve been off the wagon for a month now =[  so sad and don’t know how to get back on…

i just ate four kashi dark chocolate with coconut granola bars and feel quite sick now.  i want to go for a run tonight, but feeling a little nauseated.

i stepped on the scale this morning to sneak a little peek and saw 161.  down .6 pounds since monday and am kind of disappointed.

and that’s why the scale is my friend and my enemy.  it helps affirm or confirm when i’m doing well or not so well, but it’s also become my fixation during this weight loss journey.  i should be happy (and part of me is) that i’ve lost weight instead of gaining.  i should be proud of myself for running the shamrock shuffle in under an hour.  and i should be excited that i’m wearing my new size 10 skinny jeans and one cup smaller bra today and that they fit rather comfortably (i don’t feel like a sausage!).  but for whatever reason, i’m letting this little white scale tell me how i should feel, and that’s just plain silly.  especially since this unhealthy fixation is one of the triggers for me binging, which is even sillier with all its self-destruction.

so i think i’m going to take a break again from the scale.  and hopefully not give in to binging or overeating.  a coupla of my friends are coming into town this weekend, and i’m hoping to still make healthy choices while they’re here.

keep me on track, tumblrs? =]

it kinda makes me happy and a little proud of myself that 5k is a regular weekly run instead of a goal.  i’m hoping that one day i’ll feel that way about a five mile run.

3.2 miles in 38 minutes and fiiiiive seconds.  11:54 pace!

time for a nice long stretch =]