weigh in #32

starting weight - 187.4 pounds

last weigh in - 156 pounds

current weight - 173.4 pounds

squishyness gain from last weigh in - 17.4 pounds

total squishyness lost - 14 pounds

i’ve gained nearly 20 pounds in the last two weeks because i’ve been binging. no purging. every time i think i have it under control (usually for three weeks or so), i lose it.

it’s been really embarassing and kind of painful to write this post. to have to admit that i have such a disgusting problem. i’ve thought about giving up my tumblr and doing this on my own. i’m pissed off at myself for having to go through the 170s and the 160s again. i’m pissed off at myself for still wanting unhealthy foods. i’m pissed off at myself because i want to start today, but i feel like i don’t have the energy to. i’m pissed off at myself because every day for the past morethantendays i’ve felt like this, and if i had gotten my ass back on the wagon after the first day off, i would be well on track. any advice, tumblrs? =/