About
This is a chronicle of a squishy girl's journey to become a little less, well, squishy.Following
i just ate four kashi dark chocolate with coconut granola bars and feel quite sick now. i want to go for a run tonight, but feeling a little nauseated.
i want to be skinny, but i also really really want a brownie.
starting weight - 187.4 pounds
last weigh in - 156 pounds
current weight - 173.4 pounds
squishyness gain from last weigh in - 17.4 pounds
total squishyness lost - 14 pounds
i’ve gained nearly 20 pounds in the last two weeks because i’ve been binging. no purging. every time i think i have it under control (usually for three weeks or so), i lose it.
it’s been really embarassing and kind of painful to write this post. to have to admit that i have such a disgusting problem. i’ve thought about giving up my tumblr and doing this on my own. i’m pissed off at myself for having to go through the 170s and the 160s again. i’m pissed off at myself for still wanting unhealthy foods. i’m pissed off at myself because i want to start today, but i feel like i don’t have the energy to. i’m pissed off at myself because every day for the past morethantendays i’ve felt like this, and if i had gotten my ass back on the wagon after the first day off, i would be well on track. any advice, tumblrs? =/
up to 173.4 pounds. yikes. fell off the wagon again for, oh, about a week. i’m going to have to go through the 170s and 160s again, for the frickin fourth time. seriously, when am i going to stop doing this to myself?
up 167.2 pounds. yikes. bleh.
welp, i made it almost three weeks without stress/binge/emotional eating. scared to see the scale int he morning. and i want to wear my pretty nye dress to this fundraising event for work this weekend! all my unhealthy eating bloat goes straight to my face and to my middle. bleh. back on the wagon, not tomorrow, but right now.
bleh. pms/stress/emotional/binge eating continues.
up to 159.8 pounds today.
3 pounds in one day. and i still have cravings.
what do i do? =/
so i know how to address my .8 pound weight gain since sunday… i’ll let my pms hunger take over!
i really didn’t want to run tonight, but i forced myself to. it definitely was not one of those forrest gump type of runs. i ran 3.6 miles in 46 minutes and took a couple walking breaks.
i just felt really tired today even though i got 8 hours of sleep last night. and i really want some nachos with a side of yellow cupcake topped with vanilla frosting and fudge brownie for dessert. and i feel really worried and anxious today that i’m going to gain back the weight that i’ve lost this past month when i go home for the lunar new year this weekend or if i start eating my feelings again.
any advice or suggestions, tumblrs?
